*This is a collaborative post.
The internet has opened up a whole new world of niche dating, ones I’d never even heard before, which is such a great thing for people who are looking for them. I learnt a hell of a lot whilst working for a sex toy brand; there are niches such as mistress dating, Objectum Sexualis, Yiffing, Psychrophilia, Transvestic Fetishism, Zoophilia and I even found one for girls with brightly coloured dyed hair like mine. There really is a niche for everything and websites like subs-and-doms.com have made it so much easier to find your compatible partner or even just a hookup.
Whilst I’m totally here for people meeting someone to live out their fetishes with, I’m more here to give you a few tips on how to keep safe whilst meeting new people to make these dreams a reality. I want you to enjoy yourself, but not to feel your safety has been compromised at any point or for you leave feeling unhappy with what has happened.
Ok, so you may not be confident enough to tell your friends what you’re meeting this new person for, but the least you can do is tell them their name and where you will be meeting. If you move from a bar or restaurant to someone’s home, do try your best to let your friends know where you’re heading. With apps like Whatsapp and Facebook Messenger being able to share your location in a few seconds, there’s no excuse really!
This can be a tough one if you get caught up in the moment, or are drinking to give yourself a little dutch courage for trying something or meet someone new. You do really want to be able to keep your wits about you or make decisions that you’re happy with and alcohol consumption can cloud those judgements.
If you are trying something new, with someone new, it’s always good to set out guidelines that you are both happy with. Set a safe word for if any of your fun goes too far and stops being fun. Make sure you don’t overstep the mark on what you are physically and mentally happy with. It’s meant to be a fun meet up for both of you so make sure it stays like that and neither of you are left feeling exploited, unhappy or that something wasn’t deemed as consensual.
If you arrive to meet your date/hook up and there’s something not quite right, then trust your instinct to leave. You don’t want to put yourself into a situation that you’re not happy with. When meeting people from dating sites, whether they are niche or not, there’s always the chance of them not being who they say they are, or having lied about aspects of themselves; height, age, gender etc. If you aren’t happy with who has come to meet you, make an excuse and walk away, but do stay safe whilst doing so though.