London Living with an Alternative Twist!

A Beginners Guide to Starting a Dominant/Submissive Relationship *

*This is a collaborative post.

One thing I love about the world we live in today is how open people have become about their relationships. Just scrolling through social media, there’s a wealth of people exploring every aspect you can think of. As mentioned on here before, I really did learn a hell of a lot about sex outside of ‘the vanilla’ whilst working for a sex toy brand for a few months! It really did open my eyes to what’s out there and just how much is available to those looking for it.

If you’ve ever fantasised about adding something extra to your sex life, such as BDSM, as many are these days, but been confused about where to start then try somewhere like to help find bdsm contacts that are also looking to explore fetishes too. But please remember to always be safe, as I’ve outlined here.

If you are looking to start a BDSM relationship then I have a few tips for you down below…

How do I tell my Partner I want to try BDSM?

If you haven’t met your partner through a BDSM website, and you’re already in a stable relationship but want to spice it up a little and live out your fetishes, it can be quite tough to bring up. The best way is to just be honest, but this doesn’t have to be done face to face if you’re a little worried as to how they would react. Leaving little notes, dropping hints in text messages, or even watch a movie together with a BDSM scene to see how they react.

What Role will you Play?

You will need to determine whether you’re going to the Sub or the Dom. In order to do this the best way is to experiment; some people that have high profile dominant job roles and social lives love taking on the role of the submissive in the bedroom and this can often happen vice versa too. Some people try both the Sub and Dom roles and realise that they actually like both and they switch with their partner depending on their moods.

Remember to set a safe word so if either of you aren’t enjoying what is happening, the other one knows to stop. You don’t want to stop enjoying the fun you’re trying to create so setting boundaries is a great idea too before you set off.

What do I need to Buy?

You don’t have to spend lots of money on latex outfits and toys when you’re just starting out as you probably have lots of items already at home that you can use – so do a little research on what you want to achieve and what household items can be used, you might be a little surprised! It’s not until you’re sure of your roles, the roleplay you enjoy and what avenue of BDSM you want to go down that you can start spending.

Just make sure all that you do is consensual on both sides and enjoy yourself.

I'm Squibb Vicious, better known as Haydy!
Happiest with a craft beer in hand, eating til my heart is content or exploring somewhere new.
Here you can read about my adventures!