To the gentleman that stopped and looked me up and down in total disgust as I walked by in my gym kit last night;
I am more than aware that I’ve got thick thighs that have a cheeky jiggle when I’m in motion.
I am also, more than aware that my tummy dances to its own rhythm as I walk. You’d be amazed at how many tears I’ve cried over those wobbles.
I’m even more aware that I’m not looking my best shoehorned into Lycra without make-up on.
But who are you to look at me in such a way?!
Those thighs, they run marathons. That’s a whole 26.2 miles if you’re not aware.
That wobbly belly, that stores up all the protein and energy I need to get through marathons and all their training. Which, I can tell you, is a hell of a lot.
That gym kit, that also gets me through a tonne of training. Running long distances, in my spare time, means I need to be comfy.
That top I was wearing, that’s my medal from running a half marathon and, bloody hell, I’m proud of that even if it’s not the most flattering of shapes.
The make-up less face, that’s about to get hella sweaty so why would I waste good make-up on that?!
And you know what, I’ve saved the best for last; I run these miles for charity after losing a close friend. Someone we often joke about being the love of my life. I don’t run to impress people like you. I run to save lives. I run so people don’t have to go through the pain myself and so many others have gone through when they lose someone close to them. I run so people can have a little bit longer with those they love.
To be honest, I shouldn’t have to say things like this as I shouldn’t be made to feel gross by random strangers, but it happens. It happens to more people than you’d like to imagine.
So what am I trying to get at with all this; think first before you look at people the way you did to me. You don’t know their back story. You don’t know how much hurt you can cause. And you don’t know how much they’re trying to improve other people’s lives.
15 responses to “An Open Letter…”
I'm Squibb Vicious, better known as Haydy!
Happiest with a craft beer in hand, eating til my heart is content or exploring somewhere new.
Here you can read about my adventures!
Triggered much by a random person staring at you?
We live in a society of enraged and oppressed individuals who feel that the World is against them .
Meanwhile, in countries like Pakistan, Libya and Saudi Arabia there are women having to deal with real oppression and victimization on a daily basis.
I guess what I am saying is ,chose your battles (and your outrage).
Unfortunately, it’s commonplace for women to be made to feel uncomfortable by the opposite sex when exercising, especially in a society which assumes that only a certain body type can be deemed ‘athletic’. Whether men have the same issue, I wouldn’t know, but this is my platform to share my experiences and I feel it is important to speak out when being made to feel bad about something I put a lot of time, energy and passion into.
It’s true that there are awful things happening in the world, there’s no denying that, but I don’t think you were trying to make out that your experience was in any way or worse – or even equal to – those. However, being hurt by another persons actions or words is a very valid feeling and you shouldn’t apologise for having emotions.
That said, brush this off and hold your chin high, you work hard on your fitness and you should be incredibly proud of what you have achieved – and what you continue to achieve and strive for!
Good work Squibb!
Yes, well said Squibbvicious! The whataboutery of the likes of Terrence is nothing but a mask for his own sexism and fear of women becoming empowered – and let me guess exactly how much he actually does to help the oppressed women in the countries he mentions? Nothing, he’s far too busy being self-righteous in the comments sections.
I fully appreciate your post – SO often women are judged for being ‘wobbly’, overweight or basically not a size 10, and people think it’s fine to immediately assume they eat too much and don’t exercise and that it’s alright to call them ‘fat’ and say they’re ‘unhealthy’ like they know best. You’re living proof that you can be healthy, fit and stronger than most people (marathons! Blimey!) without needing to look super-skinny. Just like super-skinny girls can be healthy and strong and eat more than enough nutritious foods without being mocked for being underweight all the time. The sooner people learn to stop judging by appearances the better. Go you!
YES YES YES!! Exactly this!
I won’t ever be a size 10 and it’s taken me some time to get used to that, but now I’m happy in my skin and do with my body what I can!
People don’t realise the damage a few words, or a look can do!
You are amazing.
That is all.
Thank you so much, John.
what an asshole! ugh! you rock gal! <3 sending so much love to you!
Thanks lovely! Such a shame that people can do so much damage from a look!
Well said lady – Don’t let anyone else dim your light!
Thick thighs save lives! xx
YES GURL! I bought a t-shirt at the weekend with that caption on to wear with my London Marathon medal 😉
xxx
This actually brought a little tear to my eye. Good on you for doing what you do, and please ignore any comments from those trying to criticise you expressing how you feel about an incident that should never have happened. I myself wobble quite a lot, and it does get me down, but why other people should think it’s any of their business what I look like is beyond me!
It’s all about the wobble! And who honestly cares if you do, you work it! I use my wobbly bits the same was as someone without them, so I don’t see the issue!!
Thanks for the lovely comment!
[…] of you may remember the open letter I wrote to the man that shamed me in my gym kit; this was the event I was off to. And you’ve […]
[…] my more normal ones that have proved popular was my Open Letter about feeling shamed in my gym kit, a rather honest update on why I was leaving a job I hated and […]